I became inspired to write a letter to my son after my sister-in-law wrote a blog addressed to her daughter. Her message was so heartfelt and touching that when I read it I thought, “I want to do this when my son is born.” So here it goes…
Today your are 5 weeks old. I just woke up from a nap with you and starred at you for a long while…like I have been doing these past few weeks of your young life.
I will be honest with you. I never wanted to have children. I was scared to bring a life into this world in fear of so many things…I only thought of all the negative things that could happen and I did not want to have a child of mine go through any physical, mental or emotional pain like I did growing up.
But then I met your father. And although it took several introspective years of me wrapping my mind around having you, I finally realized I would be doing him (Dan) a disservice by not giving him the chance to parent a life. Your father is beyond amazing and is without a doubt the most beautiful person I have ever met. I consider him my earth angel (I do have a few earth angles but he is number one on my list). I know he will raise you to be an outstanding human being…and a person that could change the world for better.
It is because of him I took a leap of faith to have you.
I knew your name months before I discovered I was pregnant with you.
One day I was in the bathroom putting on make-up and thinking, “If I had a child, what would I name him?” Almost instantly a voice came to me and said, “Roman!”
This voice did not project sound into my ears, but into my mind. I really felt it was a sign, and I loved the name!
Being pregnant was an interesting experience for me. I was sick for 4 and half months 24/7, pulled a groin at month 5 and for the remaining months dealt with a very inflamed pubic symphisis. None of these things matter now that you are here safe, sound, and happy. And none of these silly things were your fault. They taught me to be patient and to appreciate the times in my life when I took my perfect health for granted. I will never do that again.
As I look at you, I see and think about all of your potential. You are so sweet, pure and innocent. You are perfect in every way.
I want you to know how much I love you and will always love you. I would love to believe that we will never argue when you get older and I will never worry about you…but that is me living in a dream world. I know someday you’ll have your heart broken, and it will break my heart more to see you in pain. I know someday you’ll break someone’s heart and I know someday you will be so busy that we will go days without talking.
So, I will live this day in the moment with you…and in fact these next days, weeks and months I will be more present in the moments with you that I will do my best to forever embed these moments into my memory bank so they will never be lost and never be forgotten.
I hope and pray you have the best life on this planet possible. I hope you get the chance to fulfill your karmic path here on earth.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mother. I will do the very best I can to give you the life you deserve. I refuse to spoil you with material things…but I promise to spoil you with so much love and affection that you shall never feel alone or depressed.
Welcome to this world, my beautiful sweet little buddy!
Love now and through eternity,